Tim Dowling: my TV contract has run out – and so has my patience

I need to buy a smart television big enough to read ransom notes – and I’m taking no prisoners Fourteen years ago, I received a text from my eldest son claiming he’d just found the TV face down on the sitting room floor, destroyed. I didn’t entirely buy his theory about the dogs being responsible – I discovered a football lying suspiciously near the crime scene – but it was a problem I needed to s