Losing a parent is a bewildering, lonely experience. Here are the things I wish I had known before | Gaby Hinsliff

There’ll be exhaustion, love tinged with occasional rage, even moments of black humour. But my mum would want me to tell you: don’t be afraid My mother’s house looks exactly as she left it. Two novels sit by the armchair, their pages neatly marked for book group. Pinned to the noticeboard is a shopping list in only slightly shaky writing, with “FRUIT!” in urgent capitals, and “make soup” underline